Broken Relationship

Breakups are always hard. But they needn't be heart-wrenching.

We all know what it feels like to know a relationship is on its last legs but neither party seems willing to step up and end it. Maybe it's just easier to coast for a while and hope things get better on their own, but you know better than to actually think that's a reasonable strategy, right? Not speaking up when you know your relationship is over is cowardly, and ultimately it's not fair to her either. Sometimes a relationship can stagnate for so long that you can actually forget what it's like to feel totally alive and happy. That dull routine becomes your new benchmark for normal life. Don't let this happen to you.

Rather than riding inertia's wave, take action. Yes, this is going to be hard, but if you are sure you're not happy anymore, the painful experience is worth it.

She needs to be the first to know

Out of respect for her, never tell your friends you're going to break up before telling her it's over. It's a simple thing women consider sacred. The all too connected grapevine is not the place she should or deserves to be told that you're no longer interested. You could discuss some relationship problems you're having with your buddies, but your final decision to break up with her should remain private.

Use your judgment to decide which day would be best to break the news to her. If she's very emotional and you think that you'll break her heart, try to do it on a Friday. This will give her the weekend to recover and spend time with friends. But if she's the type to plow through full steam ahead, then perhaps Monday would be best. This will ensure that her busy workweek will keep her mind off the breakup and you.

Remember that there will be no "perfect time" to end the relationship. The best thing to do is set a random Monday or Friday to break up -- and stick to it.

Choose a neutral location for the big talk

Our second point in our list of seven breakup tips for a broken relationship is for you to know and remember that it's not fair to end the relationship at your place, and neither should you be forced to see a picture on her fridge of you and her hugging. Try to find a neutral locale where both of you would be comfortable to express your feelings, like at a park. At least there you can walk and talk, or maybe even find a more secluded spot.

A restaurant, on the other hand, is a bad choice. If she makes a scene, there's no respectful recovery and no quick way out. However, fear of embarrassment is never a reason to leave her in the middle of nowhere. No matter how emotional and heated the conversation gets, there's no excuse for risking her safety or yours.

No man should ever send a break-up text ever again

If you've lost that loving feeling, be courteous and tell her face-to-face. Phone calls and e-mail are fine for small talk, but this is a big issue. It's natural to want as much distance as possible between you and her when you break the bad news, but in this case, fight your instincts and have the decency to say it to her face. The fact that you're reading our seven breakup tips for a broken relationship tells us that you're a bigger man than the guy who dials and dumps.'

It's an explanation, not a fifteen-minute dramatic monologue

There's no need to put her through the history of your decision to break up. She does deserve an explanation, but save her (and yourself) the long-winded reasons of exactly why and how things went sour. Be clear about the fact that you feel the relationship is at an end, but pepper that crystal-clear reality with a significant dose of regret.

It's important to let her know that the decision to split up is difficult for you too. By letting this be known, you make a soon-to-be-ex-girlfriend a friend in mutual sorrow. A few words to the wise: Don't say you're going to call if you're not going to. Part of keeping it simple also includes ending it smoothly -- be fair to both you and her.

If you're unclear about how you're ending it with her, it could result in a dragged out breakup. Don't break up in stages -- this needs to be one and done.

She may be upset, but she might see where you're coming from

Who can argue with logic? You're probably not the only one that's been feeling the relationship going downhill. A dose of reality might be just what the doctor ordered to get her to accept what it is you need to say -- and do -- about it. A good way to get her to understand why the two of you aren't best-suited for one another is through a simple example. But make sure you get her to start the ball rolling.

Ask her if she's been feeling the lag in your relationship. She'll probably have quite a few examples about why things haven't been working out. Letting her talk it through will help her see why you brought the topic up in the first place.

No take-backs, OK? This is serious.

There's a big reason why you made the decision to confront her with the end of your relationship. She may argue, cry or even "not understand why you're doing this," but be sure and stick to your guns. There's nothing worse than a flip-flop relationship -- you're either in or you're out. So make sure you have rebuttals for all her potential comebacks.

Just this once, don't fear the tears.

Whether she's glad you said something or not, chances are tears will be shed. Ending a relationship can bring intense emotion and she's not about to save you from seeing it all pour out at once. When she does start to cry, be sympathetic but don't be drawn in by an overflow of powerful emotion. Be an emotional rock. If your new ex is the stoic type (saving her emotions for a later time when you're not around), don't try to cajole a reaction from her. Let her be and tell her that you're ready to talk when she is.

Make sure to have plans set with friends later that day. This will ensure that the breakup process isn't dragged on longer than necessary and that you're not alone if you feel bad about what just happened. Don't be one of those guys who wants to prove one last time that he cares by breaking off his plans with his friends; that's amateur stuff.

know when to fold 'em

Ending a relationship is never easy. But having the courage to follow through with your decision will make both you and her happier when the relationship has already passed its "best before" date. Be true to your emotions and do what's best for you and her.

f she's overly affectionate or incredibly defensive, she might just be playing around on you. Find out.

Women can be extremely cunning when they're trying to conceal a huge secret, including hiding an affair from their significant other. In some cases, their best friend may not even know what's going on.

But even the craftiest of women may show signs of extracurricular activity or unusual behavior; you just have to learn to pick up on them.

It goes without saying that there are more obvious signs of a cheat, like staying out late and being dodgy about her whereabouts or phone calls. But there are other signs that aren't so obvious and, if you aren't prepared, you might miss them.

However, seeing one or more of the following behaviors is not a clear sign that your girlfriend is cheating. The only true indication is when you confront her and she fesses up.

So, without further ado, here are eight signs that your lady could be cheating on you.

1- Her approach to sex changes 
Forms of this sign can range from wanting to try new positions to becoming more dominant in the bedroom to a sudden infrequency of sex. The latter of the three may be a huge sign to some, but to those very few who can go without it for long periods of time (by choice), it may not be as clear. If she's traditionally the instigator in the relationship and she isn't instigating anymore, or less frequently, a red flag should be going up, as she could be getting it from someone else.

2- She's too accommodating
Is your girlfriend suddenly encouraging your poker night with the boys and cleaning your place when she has never done it before? Is she trying extremely hard to please you by making your favorite meals every evening? Does she bring over small tokens of affection? If this is unusual behavior, and you know she hasn't been watching Dr. Phil, then guilt could be eating away at her.

3- She dresses differently
This can be an obvious sign if a drastic change was made overnight. If it was a progressive shift, you may not have noticed anything out of the ordinary. Assess when she started wearing those stiletto heels and low-cut blouses. Determine if anything else happened at the time of this change: Did she get a new job? Did she lose weight? Then, decide whether you consider this normal behavior or if it's a drastic change in her usual dressing pattern.

What if she has a bunch of new friends or says weird things?

Forgetting Your Ex-Girlfriend or Boyfriend

Every failed relationship is painful. It hurts us in a way no physical wounds can...

I, too was heartbroken. I was so mad at myself for being such a fool and I almost hated the world for being so unfair. I wanted to slap just anybody, and wanted to be alone for a while (thank goodness I have no suicidal tendencies). I was emotionally tortured that time. I was crying while at work. And every time I hear the sound of some familiar love songs I can't help but cry my heart out. I wanted to move on. I wanted to forget him as soon as I can (if only it can happen the next morning when I wake up) but I couldn't. Everywhere I looked, I saw him...there's just too many memories and I thought i would go crazy trying to avoid them. That's when I've realized that it's not enough to just want to move on...I have to do something about it and fortunately I was successful! Let me share with you the things I did and I'm pretty sure it will help you too.

1. Accept What Happened but Don't Dwell on it

It is normal to be upset, mad and hurt after break-ups especially if it's a third party issue. And you'd probably be mad for a long time. But if you stay mad you'd only stress yourself and you'd only make your world smaller. You have to accept that the relationship is over and don't even try to pick up the pieces because you'd only hurt yourself. Acceptance is the first step to moving on and getting over that stupid ex, so its time for you to make that first step. Once you've accepted it, don't dwell on it. Don't over-think and over-analyze things. Don't dwell on the "what'ifs or what might have beens" in the relationship. It's fruitless. Believe me, I've tried and it only made me feel worse than I have ever been.

You can choose to avoid thinking about him or her and causing yourself suffering. It’s not easy, but you can do it.

A good way to think is by journaling about your feelings. It doesn't have to be the best writing or even good writing at all. Just get it all out there. Imagine that as you write them down, the bad feelings and thoughts are leaving your body and sticking to the paper.

2. Let Go

The rule of every relationship is never ever be clingy. You have to learn to let go. I know it's not easy. Letting go is actually the most crucial and the most difficult phase of every relationship. There's just too many memories and forgetting these memories feels like an impossibility. Well, who wouldn't find it hard to let go? You have invested so much time, money effort and tears to make the relationship work out only to lose it in just a moment. Of course it's hard to let go! Who am I kidding? However, you also have to think of yourself honey. You ought to respect and value yourself more than anyone and being clingy indicates that your self value is way below the line. Do not cling to someone who doesn't see your true value. It's just not going to work.

3. Go Outside and Be Active

I understand that you want to be alone and I respect that. Everyone deserves some alone time with themselves and I'm not going to deny you that opportunity. When you are alone, you can think things through but don't overdo it.

Do not stay indoors for long. Go out. Enjoy the outdoors. Socialize with your friends. This will give you less time to think about your ex. Bask in the sun or go some place else with your family members. This will definitely give you a better view of the world you once lived in...the world without your stupid ex...Don't forget that you once lived without him/her so it won't definitely ruin your life now that you are back to where you once were... your life isn't over now that they're gone.

In addition, exercising, sunlight, and fresh air will help you become healthier which will make your body feel good. Soon enough, your heart will start feeling better too.

4. Don't Look Back or Imagine "What If . . ."

Once the relationship is broken, it will never be the same again no matter how hard you try to piece it back together. There is a reason why the relationship didn't work, and it's rare that the relationship works the second time around.

If the deal breaker was unrelated to the couple (like a job or just a minor misunderstanding), it's possible things might work out if the situation changes. But if you broke up because of individual differences or cheating, hon, you should think twice before getting involved with the same person again.

You need to look within yourself and be honest. If you think you can still trust the person wholeheartedly then go for it. But you have to be careful. Seriously—if he cheated on you once he’ll cheat on you again, that's for sure! What I'm trying to say is, it's better if you don't look back. Less conflict, worry-free and new possibilities for love and better life. Science have proven that once a cheater is always a cheater so do yourself some favor and look for someone else who would see your true value...

What I'm trying to say is, it's better if you don't look back. You will have less inner conflict, fewer worries, and more possibilities for love and a better life.

5. Make New Memories

To get your ex out of your system, you have to create new memories. If you visited some places together in the past, you need to go to a new spot that you’ve never been before. Better yet, go to somewhere you went together but this time do it with your loved ones and friends. Eat foods you’ve never tasted before. Try a different sport.

Do something you never thought you’d do like bungee jumping, skydiving, ziplining, rock climbing, or anything else! If you create new memories, you will have a better chance at forgetting your ex, and in the process, you'll discover many more things that you are capable of, things you never thought you could do.

6. Improve Yourself

You’re single. This is the best time for you to focus on you. Now, your money and time is all yours to take. Don't feel guilty about spending it.

Go to a spa and get pampered. Buy a new set of clothes, shoes, and makeup. Give yourself a makeover as the strong, independent woman you are. Enroll in a culinary course and learn something new. Indulge in worthwhile activities like yoga, swimming, biking, and the arts.

As you improve yourself, you’ll build the self-confidence that was marred by your previous relationship. Being confident in yourself gives you a certain balance. It makes you feel good about yourself, and that's very attractive.

It also helps to have a role model or mentor, someone who you admire as a person. This could be someone who's also gone through a breakup and can give you some guidance as you're dealing with your feelings. Don't be afraid to ask for help if you need it.

7. Avoid Contact With Your Ex as Much as Possible

Your ex might still want to contact you even after breakup. If this happens, it will certainly make it harder for you to forget him. Be respectful but mindful of your needs. You can change your number (or block his), and delete his number from your contact list. If you memorized his number, you will really have to discipline yourself and do your best not to contact him.

Try to memorize other important phone numbers. Keep busy so you won't even have time to think of contacting him. In time, you'll be surprised that you don't remember his phone number anymore.

Unfollow him or block him on all your social media accounts, and delete all your old messages and emails so you don’t spend any time going through them. Make a new email address to make it even more effective. The urge to contact him will wane little by little until you don’t remember him at all.

8. Make Lifestyle Changes

Make a list of all the things you want to do with your life. What are the things that you could never do together? Did he hate boating because he got seasick? Go on a cruise. Did he always roll his eyes when you wanted to go dancing? Take a dance class!

Clean your room and throw away all the things that you associate with your ex like photo albums, gifts he gave you, old rotten flowers he gave you that you're still keeping as souvenirs, letters and birthday cards. If you have posters or pictures drawn on the wall with him, repaint your walls and redecorate your bedroom.

These are not easy things to do. But you have to move on, and removing these things as a memento of your previous relationship will help you forget him faster and for good. Challenge yourself to be strong and you'll be surprised at how easy and how fulfilling it can be if you're successful.

9. See the Good in Yourself

Nothing is impossible if you are determined to really move on, but you have to help yourself. Make a list of all the bad qualities of your ex, the things you couldn’t stand about him or her. List all the reasons why you shouldn't get back together.

Then enumerate all of your good qualities, those qualities that make you special and worth a second shot in love. Make a list of your 100 best qualities. Don’t stop until you reach 100! Having these things written down will help you convince yourself that you’ve made the right decision.

10. Love Again

This is the ultimate way to get over your ex. Even though your past relationship didn't work, it shouldn't stop you from loving again. Try not to close your heart to a new possibility of a love that is better, bolder, and greater than the previous one. Smile and be hopeful. There is someone who is right for you, someone who will be thankful to have you, someone who will treasure and respect you more than anyone else.

You will find a new love that will make you grow more mature and inspired in your everyday life. And who knows, the next person could even be the one you decide to spend the rest of your life with.

That's it folks. That’s my advice. If I was able to get over my ex, I am sure that you will too. Even though it feels like it, it is not the end of the world. There is still someone out there waiting for you who will find you no matter what.

Be thankful and learn from your past and use that to become a better and more lovable person. Realize that there are different kinds of people that we are meant to meet in life. Some of them are just passing by to give us lessons, some will make us stronger, some are meant to show us what real world is like and there are some who will stay with us forever.

Love yourself more and you'll see that new love is coming along soon enough

8 Lessons to Learn From Past Relationships

I haven’t been in many relationships, but I’ve always looked for lessons to learn from each relationship that I have been in. If you want to know which lessons you can learn from past relationships, keep reading. I’ve got some things to learn from past relationships, which can really help your future relationships!

1. Communication

The most common lesson to learn from past relationships is communication. I mean, if you always had misunderstandings with your ex-boyfriend and you always had to evaluate your communication skills, don’t repeat the same mistakes. You should definitely take it into consideration for your future relationship.

2. Respect

Respect is another lesson to learn from past relationships. You should respect your boyfriend and your boyfriend should respect you too. If in the past you had lots problems with respecting your partner or respect from your partner, it could be a lesson to learn for your future relationship.

3. Similar morals and backgrounds

Of course you don’t have to date an exact clone of you, but you should know that having the same plans for the future and the same family ties is very important. So the other lesson to learn from past relationship is all about similar morals and backgrounds.

4. Learn to let things go

Learning to let things go is definitely the hardest lesson to learn from past relationships. Do you have problems with letting things go? As for me, I still have some problems with it, but I have learned a lot and compare a lot to my past relationships. So I advise you to do the same.

5. You can’t force your boyfriend to act a particular way

One of the biggest lessons to learn from past relationship is that you can’t force your boyfriend to act the way that you want him to. Do you want to force your boyfriend to be nice to your parents when he doesn’t like them? I’m sure not.

6. Relationships are a shared effort

Every relationship involves shared effort and shared responsibility. This is absolutely one of the lessons to learn from past relationships. Relationships are not something that can be shouldered alone. Besides nobody would want to shoulder an entire relationship by themselves, right?

7. You can’t change your boyfriend

This lesson goes hand-in-hand with number 5. You cannot force your boyfriend to do something you want, but you actually can’t change him either. So take it into consideration and don’t waste your time with someone that you are constantly trying to change but can’t.

8. Back down in particular situations

And the last lesson to learn from past relationships is to back down when the situation calls for it. I can back down when my boyfriend is so upset, and we can’t even talk without crying. It is time when we need a break and need to talk again after we’ve both calmed down.

These are all lessons to learn from past relationships that you can actually apply to your current or future relationship. Do you have some other lessons to add to this list? Share, please!

7 Tips on How to Love Again after a Painful Breakup

It can be difficult to love someone again after a painful breakup or divorce, but it’s possible. You might feel fearful, insecure and distrusting, but it’s common and you can overcome everything if you don’t dwell on your past. So, if you’re trying to recover from a breakup, here are a few tips on how to learn to love again.

1. Muse on your past relationship

Although it’s hard and painful to reflect on the memories of your past relationship, it’s really necessary. A failed relationship can teach you many things about yourself and what you want in your next partner. This will help to make your next relationship better. This is also one of the first steps to letting go of your past relationship.

2. Let go of the past

You’ve already reflected on your past relationship, so now it’s time to let go of it. When a relationship ends, many of us are at a standstill because we can’t let go of the past. Just because your past relationship failed doesn’t mean that your new relationship will fail as well. Don’t dwell on your past, forgive your ex or yourself for anything that he or you did, and move on.

3. Love yourself

If your ex initiated the breakup, your ego may be still hurt. One of the most important ways to love again after a painful breakup is to love yourself first. Think about your emotional needs, those wonderful things you enjoy doing in your free time, and your major goals. Take care of yourself, because you really deserve it

4. Go slow

While it takes some time to get over the pain of a failed relationship, your heart will eventually heal and you will want to find your love again. Even if you think you’re ready to enter the dating world, it’s better to go slow. Don’t rush into a relationship, just enjoy the company of your friends, meet new people and make new friends.

5. Enjoy your single life

It’s important to learn how to enjoy a single life. Since you don’t have a partner, you have more time and freedom to do what you want like hang out with friends or family. It’s also the perfect time to do those things you’ve never had enough time to do. Now, you have more freedom to make new friendships. Pursue activities you enjoy, meet people who share your interests and surround yourself with positive things. You know, relationships come and go, but friends will always be there for you.

6. Realize that love is a risk

It’s important for you to realize that love can be a risky ordeal. Sure, you don’t want to get hurt again, so you put walls around your heart to protect it, but do you really want to be single for the rest of your life? It’s frustrating when a relationship fails but once you’re able to get over the pain, you will find your love.

7. Enter a new relationship

Once you start a new relationship, make sure you forget about your old one. Never compare your new boyfriend with your ex. Don’t bring emotional baggage from a past relationship into the current one since it’s a fast way to doom it. Also, don’t assume your partner is going to cheat on you as your ex-boyfriend did. You should trust your significant other.

It’s okay to be hesitant about entering a new relationship again after a painful breakup, but I hope these tips will help you. Do you have any other tips? Share them please.